


Bill Denbrough and Bill Hader Lowkey Dating For * Minutes Gay

by Rosalee_Kenneth



Series: The Losers Being Dumbasses for * Fics Straight [9]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bisexual Bill Denbrough, Crack, Denbrough and Hader Have Been Dating Since The Christmas Kiss, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Famous Beverly Marsh, Famous Bill Denbrough, Famous Richie Tozier, Fluff, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Humor, Instagram, John Mulaney Is In This, M/M, Multimedia, Secret Relationship, So Is Nick Krol, Twitter, YouTube, the losers are oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24544897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalee_Kenneth/pseuds/Rosalee_Kenneth
Summary: Mike: [offscreen] You’re right—it’s our faults. If we had known sooner that you wanted to get into Hader’s pants, then none of this would’ve ever happened.Bill: I don’t want to get into Bill Hader’s pants!Richie: [offscreen] And I’m straight…
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Bill Hader, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: The Losers Being Dumbasses for * Fics Straight [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611139
Comments: 40
Kudos: 159





	Bill Denbrough and Bill Hader Lowkey Dating For * Minutes Gay

**Author's Note:**

> DUDES! Sorry for like not posting for like a millennia, I had cyber school and finals and shit. But now that school is over, I'm back! Hold the applause. So, yeah--I'm going to start posting more regularly now which is exciting. This fic is also exciting, right? I love the idea of Bill Hader and our very own Bill Denbrough dating so fucking much and therefore you have this mess. I tried a lot of new styles/formats in this fic which I hope isn't too much for the eyes--I personally like it. Now, I honestly need your opinions more than ever because putting the Bills together wasn't exactly an "expected" coupling. Comment if you like them together or think that they should break up. Also, don't worry--the Bills dating will not affect the Hader vs. The Losers feud. The show will indeed go on. Bill Denbrough will just have to openly insult his boyfriend on social media and then have makeup sex with him afterwards. The sex will not be on social media (and therefore they will not be in these fics). In conclusion, I have no life, but neither do you.....xoxo

# Bill Hader & Bill Denbrough: Hollywood's Next Hottest Couple?

#### By Maria Hutson, Us Weekly

Bill Denbrough, director and author, has been very open about his bisexuality as he came out a few months ago on Twitter. The tweet itself read "To absolutely no one’s surprise, I’m bisexual. Turns out having really dirty thoughts about men isn’t just a ‘being comfortable in your sexuality’ type thing. Regardless, I can now enjoy the r/billdenbroughisbi subreddit on Reddit and not be defensive. Thank you all." Since then Denbrough has publicly stated his attraction towards both men and women in livestreams, tweets, interviews, and other forms of social media. Denbrough, however, has not mentioned his dating status. The only relationship he ever had publicized was the one with Audra Phillips who acted in his blockbuster movie "The Attic" in 2016. The relationship lasted for merely 3 months, after that Denbrough has kept his dating life private.

Bill Hader, comedian and actor, divorced his wife in 2018, since then he has supposedly stayed single. There is no record or interview of Hader ever mentioning his attraction towards men, but he has been said to have shared a kiss with Denbrough at Conan O'Brien's Christmas Party. Whether this kiss was a drunken mistake or mutual attraction, Hader has claimed to have said it was "a fun time". This, of course, is not a definitive answer that he is queer, but it does give some insight on the photo that was taken by paparazzi earlier this week.

The photo in question is of Hader and Denbrough holding hands and staring lovingly at each other outside a cafe. This is odd as The Losers, a group consisting of Beverly Marsh, Richie Tozier, Denbrough, and the cast of the Not Famous podcast, and Bill Hader are considered "enemies" by The Losers and many of their fans. It is unclear if this feud is real or not, but if it is then Hader and Denbrough may be facing a Romeo and Juliet relationship. Of course, we as the public don't know for certain about the nature of Hader and Denbrough's relationship, it quite well could be a simple friendship. However, there is the possibility of Hader and Denbrough becoming the next hottest couple in Hollywood.

* * *

Us Weekly ✔  
@usweekly

Bill Hader and Bill Denbrough are spotted together staring at each other in a very "loving" way.

❤ 16.7K 2:31 PM - May 3, 2020

7.8K people are talking about this

Euphoric B*tch  
@whatafingpussy

replying to @usweekly

I've been saying for fucking months that Bill Hader and Bill Denbrough are dating, and now this. I'm happy to be vindicated.

❤ 2.3K 3:33 PM - May 3, 2020

I'm Here 4 The Cult Stuff  
@shitpostshitfish

replying to @usweekly

this is the ONLY forbidden romance I'll stan. romeo & juliet who? i only know #Haderough

❤ 527 5:30 PM - May 3, 2020

bill hader is my dad  
@gayintheory

replying to @usweekly

i cannot physically explain how happy this photo makes me. like the way Bill D is looking at Bill H is sending me--  
#Haderough is REAL!

❤ 78 5:56 PM - May 3, 2020

Molly Hotwater  
@mybathwaterishot

replying to @usweekly

If the Bills don't admit to their relationship then the whole year of 2020 will be wasted

❤ 23 8:01 PM - May 3, 2020

Richie Tozier ✔  
@trashmouthtozier

replying to @usweekly

Bill Denbrough is no longer a Loser. Don't associate him with us anymore.

❤ 4.3K 1:12 AM - May 4, 2020

* * *

###  **Bill Denbrough and Bill Hader Lowkey Dating For * Minutes Gay**

**7.6M views ▪ 352k likes, 54k dislikes**

_[Video starts with a clip from Bill’s Instagram Livestream]_

**Bill** : I swear to God—if I see one more question about me and Bill Hader, I will end this fucking livestream and jump out a window.

 **Beverly** : [offscreen] The guilt is getting to you, huh? This is what you get for being disloyal.

 **Bill:** [angrily] It was just a lunch! It didn’t mean anything!

 **Richie** : [offscreen] Oh, yeah…sure, just a lunch with our number fucking one enemy.

 **Bill** : He spotted me, and I didn’t want to be rude.

 **Ben** : [offscreen] In case you didn’t know, Bill, being rude to Bill Hader is kinda our trademark.

 **Bill** : You guys are being overdramatic. Bill and I just went out for lunch and then we parted ways, simple as that.

 **Eddie** : [offscreen] We’re being dramatic? One fucking photo of you looking at Bill Hader like you wanted to eat him broke the internet.

 **Richie** : [offscreen] Haderough is the number one hashtag on Twitter and Tumblr right now, and there is already fanfic written about you two. This photo hasn’t even been out for a week yet, Bill.

 **Bill** : It’s not my fault people are deranged.

 **Mike** : [offscreen] You’re right—it’s our faults. If we had known sooner that you wanted to get into Hader’s pants, then none of this would’ve ever happened.

 **Bill** : I don’t want to get into Bill Hader’s pants!

 **Richie** : [offscreen] And I’m straight…

_[Bill angrily shows Richie his middle finger. Richie gasps offscreen]_

**Stan** : [offscreen] When did your crush on Bill Hader begin? Was it the Christmas kiss?

 **Bill** : [groans] I don’t like Bill Hader—that kiss was just a result of us being drunk.

 **Beverly** : [offscreen] Sure, Jan.

 **Eddie** : [offscreen] I honestly can’t believe we didn’t know you were into Bill sooner, you were so fucking unsubtle.

 **Bill** : [offended] Name literally one time I even hinted at liking Bill Hader.

_[Video clips ends and cuts to a clip of Bill Hader guest starring on Late Night with Seth Meyers]_

**Seth** : So, I hear a certain photo of you and author Bill Denbrough is blowing up on Twitter. What’s it like to finally be famous, Bill?

 **Bill** : [chuckles] I honestly believe people are giving more of a shit about me because of this photo than because of my actual acting career. A teenage girl spotted me in Walmart yesterday and told me that she thought me and Bill would make a good couple.

 **Seth** : You know, I can’t help but agree with her.

 **Bill** : Really? You too?

 **Seth** : What can I say, Bill? I’m now what the fangirls call a “shipper”.

 **Bill** : I want to hate you, but I gotta admit—I also kinda ship me and Bill.

 **Seth** : Do you know if the other Bill ships it?

 **Bill** : Denbrough? Uh…for the sake of his friendships I’m not going to admit anything, but….

_[Bill looks directly in the camera and whispers]_

**Bill** : He fucking loves it.

 _[Video ends and cuts to a clip from “Bill Hader_ _Answers the Web’s Most Searched Questioned on WIRED”. Bill rips the scrap of paper off the board to reveal the question “Is Bill Hader Single?”]_

 **Bill** : [stammering] Um…well, kinda. I am in a relationship but the person who I am in a relationship with is very deeply ashamed of me. I’m kidding but only slightly.

 **Crew** **member** : [offscreen] Dude, that’s so sad.

 **Bill** : [laughs] No, it’s a healthy relationship, I swear. Trust me if you knew who this person was then you would understand. Our love is very Shakespearean, it’s hot.

_[Video ends and cuts to a clip from one of Beverly’s Instagram Livestreams. All the Losers are in Beverly’s kitchen drinking beer. Bill is sitting on a counter in the background looking at his phone]_

**Beverly** : Bill! The audience is just dying to know who you are texting? Could it be that you have other friends?

 **Stan** : Doubtful.

 **Bill** : [looks up from his phone] It’s my lawyer.

 **Richie** : Oooh! Did the golden boy get a lawsuit?

 **Eddie** : I thought Ben was the golden boy?

 **Mike** : Guys, I thought I was the golden boy.

 **Beverly** : You bitches are all wrong. I am the golden boy.

 **Richie** : Yes, you are, sweetie.

_[Richie walks over to Beverly and kisses her on the head]_

**Stan** : Where’s my bucket?

_[Richie and Beverly both flip off Stan who just takes another sip of his beer. Bill jumps off the counter and walks offscreen]_

**Eddie** : Where are you going?

 **Bill** : [offscreen] My lawyer wants to meet up. He wants to get me off.

 **Ben** : Off of a traffic ticket charge?

 **Bill** : [offscreen] Sure.

_[A door is opened and shut offscreen. The Losers all stare at each other in confusion]_

_[Video ends and cuts to a clip from one of Richie’s Instagram Livestreams. The video is currently on the front door of someone’s house]_

**Richie** : [offscreen] So, today is Bill’s birthday and we all thought we should surprise him by breaking into his house—

 **Stan** : [offscreen] It’s not breaking in if we have a key.

 **Richie** : [offscreen] --don’t ruin the fun, Staniel. Anyway, we’re going to break into his house and decorate it with pictures that Bill hates of himself.

 **Ben** : [offscreen] Can you tell this is all Richie’s plan?

_[Richie opens the front door slowly to reveal Bill looking disheveled. He quickly shuts the closet door on his right]_

**Bill** : What the actual fuck are you guys doing at my house at 7 in the morning?

 **Richie** : [offscreen] What are you doing standing directly at your front door at 7 in the morning?

 **Bill** : [blushes deeply] Irrelevant…

 **Beverly** : [offscreen] Happy Birthday!

 **Stan** : [offscreen] Don’t you think the moment’s kinda passed, Bev?

 **Bill** : Oh my God! You guys are here because of my birthday?

 **Eddie** : [offscreen] Of course.

 **Richie** : [offscreen] You ruined our totally awesome plan by the way.

 **Bill** : Well, I’m sorry.

_[Bill glances quickly at his closet]_

**Bill** : Uh, guys…could you maybe come back at a later time? I have to clean up something…

 **Eddie** : [offscreen] You’re kicking us out?

 **Riche** : [offscreen] He only wants us to leave so he can get his side piece out of the closet without us seeing who it is.

_[Bill’s eyes go wide]_

**Bill:** How did you—

 **Richie:** [offscreen] Dude, there’s like 7 hickeys on your neck right now. Are you dating a college kid?

_[Bill quickly slams his door in The Losers’ faces]_

**Bill:** [offscreen] Come back in an hour!

 **Richie:** [offscreen] 10 bucks he’s screwing his lawyer.

_[Video ends and cuts to an audio clip from John Mulaney and Nick Krol’s podcast ‘Oh Hello’ with Bill Hader as the guest star]_

**John** : I’m not going to lie to you, Bill. I stayed up all night reading Haderough fanfic and along this emotional journey I realized two things—the concept of safe sex doesn’t at all exist in fanfiction and you and Denbrough are meant to be.

 **Bill:** I’ll call him right away and tell him what flower arrangements he wants at our wedding.

 **Nick:** Don’t play with our feelings, Bill.

 **Bill** : I would never.

_[Audio clips ends and cuts to a clip from one of Richie’s Instagram Livestreams. Richie, Beverly, and Bill are all lying in Richie’s bed]_

**Richie:** [laughs] Guys, someone asked if we would rather fuck Bill Hader or quit being a Loser.

_[Bill promptly chokes on his spit which both Richie and Beverly ignore]_

**Beverly** : A real Sophie’s choice if you ask me.

 **Richie:** Answer the question, Marsh.

 **Beverly** : Is it a real asshole move of me to say I would quit being a Loser?

 **Richie:** It’s the right choice anyway.

_[Richie and Beverly fist bump as Bill calms down from a seizure]_

**Bill:** [red in the face and tears in his eyes] Yeah, same.

_[Video ends]_

**Comments:**

**Lindsey Vicodin:**

You’re really telling me that The Losers were really that blind?

_3.4k likes_

**Haderough Whore** :

I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again—if the Bills don’t admit that they are very obviously fucking then I will jump out a window.

_4.2k likes_

**xerox:**

Dude, it’s not even a theory at this point

_1.9k likes_

**Sepia Tones:**

I haven’t ship 2 middle aged men this hard since well…Richie and Eddie

_432 likes_

**Boy Wonder(ing who the fuck you are):**

These two possess the same amount of subtly as the two burglars in Home Alone

_2.5k likes_

**x o e y:**

I didn’t get Destiel, I didn’t get Sterek, I didn’t get Johnlock, if God doesn’t give me Haderough then I’m going to send my recommendation letter straight to Hell. At least down there they respect the gays.

_5.6k likes_

**Gina Lass:**

I’m going to be telling my children that this was Romeo and Juliet

_782k likes_

* * *

Us Weekly ✔  
@usweekly

Pizza Man records video of Bill Hader and Bill Denbrough aggressively making out on Denbrough's porch! Watch it now on our website!

❤ 3.1M 10:40 AM - May 8, 2020

167.2K people are talking about this

**Author's Note:**

> I am aware that the Bills are not holding hands in my very bad photoshopped photo, just pretend. Also, please tell me what you think about Haderough, I love it but you may not. Forbidden romance, especially between two 40 year old men, is my fav. ALSO IF YOU WANNA SEE THE REALLY BAD PHOTO I PHOTOSHOPPED OF BILL HADER AND BILL DENBROUGH KISSING THEN GO HERE: https://imgur.com/a/vrrdPsK


End file.
